on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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