Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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