Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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