How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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