He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
