as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
