dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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