She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
what the fuck happened to the tacos
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
