I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
