all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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