Please, let me fuck your mom
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
