so that wasnt chicken after all
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
