wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
