do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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