Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
