She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
