so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize