Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
