I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize