This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
