Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i am craving dick and cupcakes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
