Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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