you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
