R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
