it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
