fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
