If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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