I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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