Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
