do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
