Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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