That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
