if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
