Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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