I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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