she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
