I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
