Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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