i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
