Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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