During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
