dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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