but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
