You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
