Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
