I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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