Who did Billy Mays play for?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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