Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
