Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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