I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
