I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
