lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
