so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
