I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
