So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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