My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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