help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
