I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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