I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
