I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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