the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
