I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
