I got chris browned last night
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize