3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize