He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
