nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
