This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
