i was rollin on her like bob the builder
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
