he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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