Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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