Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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