Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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