he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This baby is an asshole
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
