u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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