I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He kissed a someone with a penis
smell my finger.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
