They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
