his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have aggressive nipples.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize