best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
