complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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